Replay: Memoir of an Uprooted Family by Jordan Mechner

Here's my voice on this book. My voice belongs to me and it is not drawn or written by Jordan, who did not contact me or ask for my permission to be portrayed in the various translations of his graphic novel, and who did not respond when I confronted him about this violation of my privacy. 

When, seven years after the dissolution of our marriage, this guy is willing to include my real name, age, likeness, and intimate personal material (edited for his benefit) in yet another for-profit work for and about himself, it’s time to say something.

The trust I exercised in signing a prenuptial agreement with him (a person 21 years my senior with previous experience in marriage and legal matters) and the breaking of the trust – trust that the marriage partnership would be focused on to our mutual benefit and that, in the event we split up, he would not abuse his power – has shaped my life and subsequent decisions more than any other factor.

When we decided to marry, I was 28. I loved, trusted, and admired Jordan very much. I had seen him take personal responsibility for mistakes he’d made in projects that were going on around the time we got together. I saw the way he would not take opportunities to use power in his relationship with his ex-wife, even when he could have, and I saw how much he loved his children.

I saw that he could be sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. It’s been strange to live in a world where his behaviors are so consistently hurtful.

The use of power destroys relationships, and when there is an imbalance of resources, things are going to be fraught. Jordan himself admitted to me that things had gone badly because he wanted everything "to be his."

I was able to move on from my marriage because I wanted to take responsibility for my own choices, even if I was now at a serious disadvantage. I signed that prenuptial agreement. That was my name right there on the line, and nobody made me sign it, although my lawyer told me it was not really in my best interest.

I felt exploited and ignored when Jordan did not pay the full settlement agreement, which he alone decided -- "How much were you making at the job you had before we met? I'll multiply that by five years." Ouch. He offered to let me be his property manager at a place I had once considered our home.

When he didn't communicate with me directly, my lawyer at the time halved my fees, said that Jordan was being unreasonable, and advised me that it would take a long time to get back on my feet. 

I'm mentioning this because the separation agreement didn't afford me much, but it did specify that our intellectual properties were separate. It did not specify that I am intellectual property, because I am not his intellectual property, and I am not a cartoon character.

I moved on to the best of my ability, so when this book appeared seven years later as I was still in the process of picking myself up, I felt so violated.

Aside from having to find a new place to live (Jordan owned all property and all of his income streams remained separate), the hardest part was no longer having enough disposable income to visit my stepchildren, who now lived overseas. Why did they live overseas? Because I encouraged Jordan, from the get-go, to pursue the game project in France. I thought it would be a good opportunity for him, and I hoped the chance to pursue our individual freedoms might allow the relationship to improve. I offered to give up farm life and move to France to join him, but he was ready to dissolve the marriage.

This is all fine -- I don't think I hold anger toward him for the fact that our marriage didn't work out, because relationships are complex and I gained tremendous benefit from having him in my life. I love him. But to take something sad and tell a story that makes it seem like something else -- and to try to "own" this story and profit from someone who agreed to share her life with you at any point -- is not okay. I did my best to try and process my own grief in a private way. I understand the temptation to turn something sad into yet another Big Hit That Makes Him Look Cool, but there are ways to do that that do not violate others.

I did not leave the marriage with the same privilege or social/family connections that would allow me to turn something sad into a published work like this. I work at a grocery store.

I'm also going to mention Jennifer by name here because she is pretty well glossed-over in the book. I took on too much to try and compensate for the dynamic between Jordan and his ex-wife, and that was a big lesson for me.

I wanted to value myself, and I wanted to set an example for my stepkids of someone who did not stay in a relationship with someone who did not value the feminine.

My whole life changed when I met my stepchildren. I went from being a  20-something whose life had been built on sand to a person inspired by the way those kids moved in the world, their openness and compassion and creativity and willingness to relate to others in a way that I’d been closed to. I still look up to them.

Any story is made up not so much by what it includes as what it does not include, and the story you write says more about you than it does about the people in it. It takes more creativity to write in a way that preserves the integrity of others.

When I first started working in games at 21, it was hard to realize that a lot of the creators I had admired so much were just people – some of them with pretty intense flaws. I hope the people reading this can separate the creation (Prince of Persia, etc) from the creator in a way Jordan’s never quite been able to do, and to take anything in this book with a grain of salt.

Things can always be better when differences arise between people, and I value the nonuse of power (defined as the ability to dispense or withhold resources, to inflict pain or distress, or to reward) in relationships. Using the dynamic of reward or punishment -- my way vs your way, or yours vs mine -- will only destroy connections between people.

I sent this message on February 17th, 2025, to Jordan, First Second, and Delcourt. I followed up a week later saying that I'd like to resolve the situation without the use of power and suggested a group-led method for doing so. 

There was no response, which is also a use of power.

I hope conscientious readers will expect more from their authors and publishers.